Michael's Reality
by Themirrorchild
Summary: Michael isn't as retarded as everyone thinks he is, and the only person to see that is Daniel. What happens after the hot air balloon? What could possibly go wrong now? This is an Agents of Cracked Fanfic. Hope you enjoy. :D


"He's not an idiot." Daniel shouted, slamming his hands down on the desk for emphasis. "Or retarded, for that matter."

"Aww Dan, thank you." Michael sounded truly happy at Dan's out burst.

"He's a retarded demi god." The chief shouted. "You have to accept that fact."

"Well...what about, you know...that thing he did with those lawyers? He's obviously smarter than anyone gives him credit for. He was a judge once, for the love of god." Daniel hissed, grabbing a tissue for his bleeding nose.

"Just trust us on this. He's a retarded demi-god and that's that. Deal with it and let's move on." Sarge announced, glaring daggers at Daniel.

"He's your son..."

"And that's how I know he's retarded. Trust me. You've been with him for three years, nothing he does is normal." The chief's voice raised as he leaned forward.

"It doesn't have to be." Dan announced softly, falling into his seat with resignation. No one's opinion of Michael was bound to change any time soon. "And besides, wasn't it you who said that Michael hid the secrets of the universe in his articles?"

"It was an idiotic mistake on his part. It's not like he knew what he was writing half the time." Sarge rubbed his good eye in irritation at the questioning.

"Whatever." Daniel sounded absolutely crushed. "So you invented cloning? And my job was completely meaningless and..." Here Dan looked at Michael. "And B-tone's a robot?"

"We don't have time for all this so which question do you want answered?" The chief asked, obviously fed up with the revelations.

"I...guess...yeah... the robot thing."

"Yes, B-tone's a robot, T-bone too. They were both created to oversee cracked and broked operations from within." Sarge answered.

"But once the chiefs found out that Michael was accidentally hiding the secrets of the universe in his articles, they hacked into B-tone and reprogrammed him for destruction. Got it?" The chief concluded with annoyance.

At that moment B-tone threw open the door and aimed his gun. "Did someone say extermination?"

"No!" Dan taunted, a smile on his face. "What? They forget to program you for hearing."

There was a loud bang as B-tone fired his gun, hitting Daniel in the neck and for a split second Dan was petrified, but happy that his final words were something witty and comical. Who would have thought that would have been one of his concerns?

"What...what did you do?"

Dan could hear Michael talking, but his world was slowly going black. All he saw were fuzzy images and before he knew it, he'd hit the ground with a thud as blood pooled into his mouth, dripping down the side of his lips.

"What I was programmed for. Don't you listen?" B-tone taunted, going to reload his gun.

Michael wasn't listening though. He'd already turned around and fallen to his knees before Daniel, holding pressure to the gaping wound on the shorter man's neck.

Dan's mouth opened and closed as he tried to talk but Michael hushed him, trying to calm him down. The more frantic Dan was, the worse he would bleed and the sooner he'd be taken away from Michael.

"It's okay Dan." Michael soothed, wiping Dan's mouth with his free hand. "You're okay."

"He'll die soon." B-tone taunted once more, aiming the loaded gun towards Michael. "But don't worry, you'll follow soon enough."

"Are you fucking KIDDING ME with the eye patch?" Sarge screamed, standing and facing B-tone.

Michael's heart broke as he heard Sarge degrading the robot for a fucking eye patch while his Dan was bleeding to death on the fucking floor. This wasn't fair.

"M-M..." Daniel began, only for Michael to shake his head and lean down closer, noses touching.

"Don't talk. Please." Michael begged as a glow of light surrounded him. "I'll fix this."

"Sarge, we have to leave, NOW!" The chief demanded, grabbing for Sarge and vanishing.

Michael continued to glow, until the light became unbearable before exploding, shorting out B-tone, healing Daniel and shattering the window in a fiery explosion. "I won't lose you."

XXX

It was the next day when Michael and Daniel walked into the office, albeit unwillingly, and faced Sarge and the chief. Michael was standing a bit closer to Daniel than he had ever willingly done so, but no one seemed to be paying that much mind.

Daniel, for his part, remembered absolutely nothing from before B-tone threw open the door, which was something Michael had assured. Daniel didn't need to remember dying...because he had died. Michael had had to expend quite a bit of energy to bring him back and no one, especially not Daniel, needed to remember how it felt to die.

"Well, here we are...all dead." Michael said, with an odd little smile tugging at his lips.

"No, no, no, no. No, no no no. Not dead. That was just a photo shop. We are, clearly not dead." Daniel corrected, arms flailing about a bit.

"Yes, you are." Sarge iterated with conviction.

"See?"

"You are just going to confuse him. Help me out a little bit." Daniel sounded desperate.

"As far as anyone else knows, you're dead. That's what the order's been told, that's what I've programmed into B-tone's memory chip, and that's what's been printed in the company news letter. There's no going back now." Sarge corrected.

"Which means you two will have to disappear." The chief said, pointing a finger towards the two. "I might not see you for a while son."

"Hey Dan, I think he's talking to you man." Michael looked over at Dan who shook his head fondly.

"No, he's not."

"He's not gonna last a week." Sarge said, tilting his head to get a better view of the chief.

"Of course I will. If I've followed the events correctly, I think I might be some kind of magic."

"Hey, yeah, that right. That's good Michael." Daniel praised, which caused Michael to beam happily.

"Yay." Michael sounded way too childish at that moment.

"OUT!" The chief commanded, which caused the two to scurry out quickly.

Michael followed Daniel at a close pace all the way towards his desk and watched as Dan slowly started packing up his belongings. Not wanting to face the reality of what that meant, Michael began rambling.

"Well what now partner? We could get hotdogs at that place by the pier. HUH strip club? OH! We should go back to my place I'll toss some dogs in a pot and get the missus t-"

"Hey Michael...buddy...uh...I don't have a job here anymore. And I don't want to say I'm free, cause that would be insulting to you, but that's kinda the vibe...I'm leaving."

"What?" Michael asked, unbelieving as he removed his goggles to get a better look at Dan. "To go where? The east coast? To do what? Sell scrimshaw scenes of the civil war to passing cattle men? Get married to a soap sculpture and die of heart stop?"

"The first part?" Daniel began, getting Michael's attention. "Very much so, I'm going back to the east coast. But the rest? That's all just little Michael things that I'll miss."

Daniel grabbed his belongings, and after a failed whinny, turned and walked away. Michael couldn't believe that after having saved this man's life, he was still in just as much danger of losing him.

"You'll be sorry you know." Michael said, voice raising as he spoke. "I won't last a week."

XXX

"Seriously?" Daniel asked, looking at the clearly photo-shopped picture being presented to him. "You're not dead. I'm pretty sure you can't die. I don't even know how I'm still alive."

"Technically..." Michael tried, but he was continually interrupted by the other.

"And my keen editorial senses are telling me that _that_ is probably a photo-shop, cause you're holding it right now and I'm looking at you..."

"But that's what would happen if you left, Dan. I'd miss you a lot and then I'd die. Is that what you want?" Dan shook his head. "Also I think I'm wanted for animal rape in a bunch of counties now."

"Why do you do that?" Dan asked suddenly, grabbing the photo and ripping it in half.

"What?" Michael asked, looking truly perplexed.

"Act like this" Dan flailed his hands indicating Michael's whole body. "when I know you're capable of so much more."

"This is who I am, Dan...it's who I've always been." Michael sounded dejected as he spoke. "I don't know anything else. I get bored easily and the amount of drugs I've done can't have helped."

Daniel nodded but sighed. Michael had a point. "Did you really fuck animals?"

"No...yes...I honestly don't know."

"Oh...okay." Dan sighed. "My mind's made up buddy...I'm going to go."

Michael sighed loudly. "I guess this is it then."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"Partners?" He extended a hand and Daniel begrudgingly took it, robot sounds and all.

Michael swore he heard his heart shatter into a million pieces as he watched Daniel walk away.

XXX

"Hey Dan?" Michael asked, turning to face his partner. "Do you think if I spit from up here it would kill a little kid, you know 8-12...that range?"

"I don't know...maybe!" Daniel answered, watching Michael spit off the side of the hot air balloon.

"No, it just pissed him off." He announced, flipping off the little kid who was probably shouting at them from the ground.

"You know, you'll have to sleep in a grain silo. That's where we all sleep back east."

"That's fine, me and grain are cool now."

"And how are you at humping holes in the ground?" Dan asked, trying to catch Mike off guard. How he thought he could was beyond him. Temporary insanity probably.

"Surprisingly professional. Thank you" Michael said, way too enthusiastically. "for letting me come along Daniel."

"I uh..." Dan struggled with his words for a bit, not knowing what to say. "I knew it was bad for me, but I just couldn't help myself...I feel like the first act of a lifetime movie."

Michael looked at Dan and he knew he wouldn't be able to let the shorter man go. He'd brought him back to life, he'd be damned if he let him walk away now. He wasn't particularly good at monogamy, but if that's what Dan wanted, Michael would try. He would surely and completely try. Anything for Dan. Everything for Dan.

Before he could think too much more – that was usually a bad idea – he licked his lips. "Hey Dan!" He said, catching Dan's attention.

Dan, for his part, couldn't have possibly seen it coming, as Michael fell forward and began awkwardly kissing him. It was tentative, rough and angry, like any minute now all this was just going to up and disappear. Or that's how Dan analyzed it anyway.

Dan pushed Mike away and before he could stop himself, he'd raised his hand and slapped the taller man across the face.

Mike looked hurt as he held his cheek in pain. He knew this may have been a bad idea, but he couldn't stop himself from loving Dan...it was impossible.

"MICHAEL!" Daniel yelled, looking annoyed. "WHAT...took you so long?"

Michael smiled brightly before leaning in once more, rubbing his hand over Dan's head and sloppily making out. He was too happy to care about anything besides the feel of Dan's mouth under his. It was the best day of his entire life.

Hopefully things would get better from here on out.

XXX

TBC


End file.
